Log in

No account? Create an account

Ramblings of a Perverted Moth

Six legs good, eight legs better.

5 November 1982
I'm a dynamic person, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I frost cakes and plot with my cat. I once knew the secret of killing a man with a mustard packet, but have since forgotten it.

Jose Cuervo is not my friend, but Mr. Bacardi is. I skip to class and frolic in the rain. I have deadly aim with a thrown tennis shoe and I once swallowed a whole banana. I make bread rise just by staring at it, and people often gasp at my ability to draw rude stick figures on dirty car windows.

I collect things with tentacles, and I am not waiting for Godot. I know that a pudendum is, and the French lyrics to "I Wish I Were An Oscar Meyer Weiner". I have swum with dolphins, run with gazelles, and burrowed in the mud with earthworms.

I am no longer forbidden to do that thing with my tongue, and I tickle at a college level. I will now freely admit that I stole the keeshka. I yodel in the shower. I might have an FBI file. I send fan mail to sausage companies and flour mills.

I sneeze. I garden. I exfoliate and I pontificate. I iron to a hip-hop beat.

Also, I really like monkeys. And BUGS! Hematophagous arthropods (i.e. mosquitoes, ticks, fleas, sucking lice, blackflies, assassin bugs) rock my world. Ergo, I'm trying to get a PhD in entomology (eventually).

"This is exactly what those environmentalists should be spending their time on: Finding ways to use nature against other forms of nature that are inconvenient to man." - Hank Hill.

alan rickman, alton brown, angry moths, anodized aluminum, antennae, army of darkness, attack frogs, b movies, babies with ketchup, baking, bees, better than ezra, bisexuals, boobies, bread, bruce campbell, bubba ho-tep, bugs, cake decorating, candy making, cephalopods, cepheid, cheese, chimpanzees, chocolate, cock, cockroaches, conch horns, coupling, crackpot science, crochet, cthulhu, ddt, deep ones, dipterans, duct tape, entomology, erotica, explosions, eyestabbing, family guy, fauvism, featherweights, fire bellied toads, fish, flambe, fleas, flogging molly, flour, frogs, fucking mongorians, fungus, futurama, geeks, ghastly's ghastly comic, giant fucking roaches, gratuitous nudity, h.p. lovecraft, hairless rats, hardanger, harry potter, hooker shoes, insects, intelligent ecology, jean m. auel, jean-luc picard, jelly, knitting, knives, kolaches, kool aid, liberal republicans, lizards, luc besson, machiavelli, maggots, mantispidae, mel brooks, michelangelo, mold, monkeys, mosquitoes, musical theater, mutant spawn, mythology, narf, nerds, ninjas, octopus, orthoptera, pants, phillip k. dick, photography, pirates, plastic army men, politics, pork, pornography, projectiles, rats, ravioli, re-animator, reduviidae, rich corinthian leather, rubber chicken abuse, rum, sausage, schlock, sci-fi, sherlock holmes, something positive, spam, spider jerusalem, spock, spores, squid, star trek, star trek iv, star wars, stitching, tatting, teenage mutant ninja turtles, tentacles, terry pratchett, texas tornados, the venture bros, ticks, tolkein, troma, vodka, vulcan motorcycles, wd-40, weapons of mass destruction, weird al yankovic, whipped cream, zelda, zoidberg